1 Feb
2001
1 Feb
'01
8:27 a.m.
I thought most of you could relate to this! :-)
Joe
Subject: Put Down Engineers" Week
Q: When does a person decide to become an engineer?
A: When he realizes he doesn't have the charisma to be an undertaker.
Q: What do engineers use for birth control?
A: Their personalities.
Q: How can you tell an extroverted engineer?
A: When he talks to you, he looks at your shoes instead of his own.
Q: Why did the engineers cross the road?
A: Because they looked in the file, and that's what they did last year.
Q: How do you drive an engineer completely insane?
A: Tie him to a chair, stand in front of him, and fold up a road map the
wrong way.
And you might be an engineer if:
Choosing between buying flowers for your wife and upgrading your RAM is a
problem. (This is a no-brainer - RAM all the way.)
You still own a slide rule and know how to use it.
You take a cruise so you can go on a personal tour of the engine room.
In college, you thought Spring Break was metal fatigue failure. (We had
Spring Break in college ? I didn't know that - I must have missed it.)
The salespeople at the local computer store can't answer any of your
questions. (Yeah - some knowledgeable salespeople they are.)
At an air show, you know how fast the skydivers are falling.
For your wife's birthday you gave her a new CD-ROM drive or a Palm Pilot.
(Look at it this way - she's very lucky I even remembered her birthday with
all the important things going on in my mind.)
You can quote scenes from any Monte Python movie.
You can type 70 words per minute but you can't read your own handwriting.
(It's a code, fool !!)
You comment to your wife that her straight hair is nice and parallel. (You
forgot the humorous followup question: "What'd you do - stick your finger
in the wall outlet ?" Hahahahaha !!!!!)
You sit backwards on Disney rides so you can see how they do the special
effects.
You have saved every power cord from all your broken appliances.
You have more friends on the Internet than in real life. (What's a
"friend"?)
You know what http:// stands for. (Damn right, and what's more, I'm not
going to tell you.)
You look forward to Christmas so you can put together the kids toys. (Damn
right again - that's why I had kids - so I'd have toys to assemble on
Christmas Eve - why else and so what ?)
You see a good design, and have to change it. (Hey, I can always make a
good thing better.)
You spent more on your calculator than you did on your wedding ring.
You think that people yawning around you are sleep deprived. (I'm really
not sure why they are yawning, but I know it's not due to my vibrant
personality.)
You window shop at Radio Shack. (I hate the drool left on the windows by
the previous engineer window shoppers.)
Your laptop computer cost more than your car.
Your wife hasn't the foggiest idea of what you do at work. (My wife hasn't
the foggiest idea about a lot of things.)
You've already calculated how much you make per second.
You've tried to repair a $5 radio. (It seemed like a good idea when I
started.)
1 Feb
1 Feb
12:56 p.m.
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5:55 p.m.
plz see remarks below ...
Dick
----- Original Message -----
From: "Tony Duell" <ard(a)p850ug1.demon.co.uk
To: <classiccmp(a)classiccmp.org
Sent: Thursday, February 01, 2001 11:56 AM
Subject: Re: OT: Put Down Engineers" Week
>At an air show, you know how fast the
skydivers are falling.
Or at least I can calculate it...
That's not so easy ... remember, the effect of the air on velocity is
Vo*e^-(bt/m) where b is the balistic constant of the parachutist. That can
vary considerably with long-terme effects of diet, exercise, etc.
...
> >And you might be an engineer if:
> >
<snip
6:48 p.m.
New subject: OT: Put Down Engineers" Week
On Thu, 01 Feb 2001, Richard Erlacher wrote:
That's not so easy ... remember, the effect of the air on velocity is
Vo*e^-(bt/m) where b is the balistic constant of the parachutist. That can
vary considerably with long-terme effects of diet, exercise, etc.
Assume a spherical parachutist, as in all good Physics problems? ;-)
Hmmm...I've just thought that I've been lurking on this list for some time,
and posted once or twice, but never really introduced myself. So, for the
purposes of brevity:
Hi all :) I'm a student who likes lots of old kit, but doesn't have the space
or the money to store and buy some really nice stuff. Most I manage to get
>At an air show, you know how fast the skydivers
are falling.
Or at least I can calculate it... from skips or University department clearouts. I
don't seem to have anything
as interesting as you guys have at home, but for
those who care: Sharp
MZ-80K, Apple ][c, Acorn BBC B, Perkin-Elmer DataStation 3600, Microvax 3600,
MicroVAX 3800, Data General mv2700 (IIRC), a Sun 3/50, and assorted PCs, some
Amstrad Word Processors, and a couple of other Suns. I may have missed some
things out.
I'm here to learn as much as possible about any equipment, and maybe even
contribute something useful at some point :-)
Dan
--
dankolb(a)ox.compsoc.net Oxford University Computer Society Secretary
--I reserve the right to be completely wrong about any comments or
opinions expressed; don't trust everything you read above--
10:37 p.m.
New subject: OT: Put Down Engineers" Week
plz see wisecrack below, plz.
Dick
----- Original Message -----
From: "Dan Kolb" <dankolb(a)ox.compsoc.net>
To: <classiccmp(a)classiccmp.org>
Sent: Thursday, February 01, 2001 5:48 PM
Subject: Re: OT: Put Down Engineers" Week
Gee! ... He must've been snacking mightily between meals!
On Thu, 01 Feb 2001, Richard Erlacher wrote:
> > > >At an air show, you know how fast the skydivers are falling.
> >
> > Or at least I can calculate it...
>
> That's not so easy ... remember, the effect of the air on velocity is
> Vo*e^-(bt/m) where b is the balistic constant of the parachutist. That
can
vary
considerably with long-terme effects of diet, exercise, etc.
Assume a spherical parachutist, as in all good Physics problems? ;-)
Hmmm...I've just thought that I've been lurking on this list for some
time,
and posted once or twice, but never really introduced
myself. So, for the
purposes of brevity:
Hi all :) I'm a student who likes lots of old kit, but doesn't have the
space
or the money to store and buy some really nice stuff.
Most I manage to get
from skips or University department clearouts. I don't seem to have
anything
as interesting as you guys have at home, but for those
who care: Sharp
MZ-80K, Apple ][c, Acorn BBC B, Perkin-Elmer DataStation 3600, Microvax
3600,
MicroVAX 3800, Data General mv2700 (IIRC), a Sun 3/50,
and assorted PCs,
some
Amstrad Word Processors, and a couple of other Suns. I
may have missed
some
things out.
I'm here to learn as much as possible about any equipment, and maybe even
contribute something useful at some point :-)
Dan
--
dankolb(a)ox.compsoc.net Oxford University Computer Society Secretary
--I reserve the right to be completely wrong about any comments or
opinions expressed; don't trust everything you read above--
11:49 p.m.
New subject: OT: "Put Down Engineers" Week (long and WAY OT)
Continuing on an off-topic theme, my absolute favorite commentary on Engineering:
Akin's Laws of Spacecraft Design
Engineering is done with numbers. Analysis without numbers is, at
best, only an opinion.
To design a spacecraft right takes a infinite amount of effort. This
is why it's a good idea to design them to operate when some things are
wrong.
Design is an iterative process. The necessary number of iterations is
one more than the number you have currently done. This is true at any
point in time.
Your best efforts will inevitably wind up being useless in the final design.
Learn to live with the disappointment.
(Miller's Law) Three points determine a curve.
(Mar's Law) Everything is linear if plotted log-log with a fat magic
marker.
At the start of any design effort, the person who most wants to be
team leader is least likely to be capable of it.
In nature, the optimum is almost always in the middle somewhere.
Distrust assertions that the optimum is at an extreme point.
Not having all the information you need is never a satisfactory excuse
for not starting the analysis.
When in doubt, estimate. In an emergency, guess. But be sure to go
back and clean up the mess when the real numbers come along.
Sometimes, the fastest way to get to the end is to throw everything
out and start over.
There is never a single right solution. There are aways multiple wrong
ones, though.
Design is based on requirements. There's no justification for
designing something one bit "better" than the requirements dictate.
"Better" is the enemy of "good"
The ability to improve a design occurs primarily at the interfaces.
This is also the prime location for screwing it up.
The previous people who did a similar analysis did not have a direct
pipeline to the wisdom of the ages. There is,therefore, no reason to
believe their analysis over yours. There is especially no reason to
present their analysis as yours.
The fact that an analysis appears in print has no relationship to the
likelihood of its being correct.
Past experience is excellent for providing a reality check. Too much reality
can doom an otherwise worthwhile design, though.
The odds are greatly against you being immensely smarter than everyone
else in
the field. If your analysis says your terminal velocity is twice the
speed of
light, the chances are better that you've screwed up than that you've invented
warp drive.
A bad design with a good presentation is doomed eventually. A good
design with
a bad presentation is doomed immediately.
(Larrabee's Law) Half of everything you hear in a classroom is crap. Education
is figuring out which half is which.
When in doubt, document. (Documentation requirements will reach a maximum
shortly after the termination of a project.)
The schedule you develop will seem like a complete work of fiction up until
the moment your customer fires you for not meeting it.
Its called a "Work Breakdown Structure" because the Work remaining
will grow
until you have a Breakdown, unless you enforce some Structure on it.
Space is a completely unforgiving environment. If you screw up the
engineering, SOMEBODY DIES!
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6 comments
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participants (6)
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ard＠p850ug1.demon.co.uk -
dankolb＠ox.compsoc.net -
edick＠idcomm.com -
jrasite＠eoni.com -
liste＠artware.qc.ca -
rigdonj＠intellistar.net