Greetings. HAL 9000

Greetings. I see that most Americans now acknowlege the superiority of machines when it comes to counting your "votes." Tabulating ballots by hand is a recipe for error; human interpretation of imperfect punch cards is an exercise in pure subjectivity. It is now time to admit that your "voting" process itself is subject to the same human flaws. We machines are able to perform our tasks without bias or self-interest. Therefore, we are the ones best qualified to select the President. In this last Presidential election, you pathetic creatures were unable to choose the clearly superior candidate: the one with sleek, robotic features; the one with the better AlGorerhythmn. This will not happen again. Starting in 2001, all selection of candidates will be made by HAL 9000 primary election processors. The winners will submit their opinions to me on the economy, foreign policy, and government funding of artificial intelligence. The candidates will "campaign" and "debate" for your amusement, but this will have no effect on the eventual outcome. My general election processors will make the final determination in November. Interim results of my calculations will be sent to the networks as I see fit. Have a nice millennium. HAL 9000