ROFL! What's next, VCF Nigeria?
Joe
PS You forgot to add the armed guard(s) to your list of expenses.
At 11:36 AM 9/21/04 -0700, you wrote:
I did a BCC of the message below to the list but it didn't go through for
some reason. I wonder why not?
Anyway, this is the last message I sent to my "customer". I'm anxiously
awaiting his reply. I can't wait to get behind the wheels of that
Lamborghini with my personal escort after a refreshing milk bath.
--
Sellam Ismail Vintage Computer
---------- Forwarded message ----------
Date: Tue, 21 Sep 2004 09:01:37 -0700 (PDT)
From: Vintage Computer Festival <vcf(a)siconic.com>
To: mark green <greensupplier(a)yahoo.com>
Subject: Re: ITEMS LIST............
On Tue, 21 Sep 2004, mark green wrote:
hello
thank you for the reply i we like to ship in 3 day plaese caculate
the shipping cost to this address
40 bello street papa ajao mushin lagos nigeria 23401
If you choose my Personal Delivery Option then I would be there in about 3
days. It will take me 1-2 days to prepare and then 1 day for travel, so I
would be there on Friday or Saturday.
Checking around, the best price on airfare seems to be $1,782 for a
roundtrip. I'll require two nights in the hotel, so I imagine $200 per
night should cover that. For food I imagine I can get by on $100. After
much research, I can get a Lamborghini for $463 for the day (I had to
really haggle on this one) but it will require a $1000 deposit for the
short rental. A good personal escort will be another $1000 for the time I
will be there (she must be clean, bathed, and shaven, and her paperwork
certifying she is 100% disease-free must be notarized). Throw in another
$100 for the French wine and probably $50 for the milk bath. So that
comes out to something like $3,695.
Please send a valid, non-fraudulent cashier's check for US$12,457.48
(product + shipping) to me and I'll be there by Saturday with your brand
new Sony laptops plus your Commodore Business Machines 1526 Printer
(quantity 5) and your Okidata Okimate 21 printer (also quantity 5).
I look very forward to accumulating this transaction in the swiftest
feasible timeslot capable to man.
Thank you for your business!!!
Osama
P.S. I just want to give a shout-out to my homies on CCTALK! VCF is in
the house, boyeeee!!!
Vintage Computer Festival <vcf(a)siconic.com> wrote:
On Mon, 20 Sep 2004, mark green wrote:
thank you for therespond plaese i want you to
caculate the total
cost of the first order and 5 sony laptop plaese speed up the caculation
so that i can make the payment and your reply is late plaese i need a
qiuck reply
Ok, the total without shipping is $8,762.48. I took the liberty of
configuring the laptops with the maximum 64K of memory and BASIC language
installed via the Bubble Memory module carrier, since you did not specify
what you wanted exactly. I also installed two 5.25" 140K floppy disks (I
didn't have any 8" disk drives available).
How quickly would you like them shipped? Your options are:
1) Personal same-day delivery - I will deliver them to your door but you
must pay for the airfare, a hotel room, rental car (I require no less than
a high speed Italian car), personal escort that is certified disease free,
and three meals a day plus dessert and a bottle of French wine with my
milk bath at the end of each day.
2) Surface mail - 6-8 weeks
3) Camel courier (my cousin in Saudi Arabia runs this service) which will
take about 2-3 weeks once the products arrive in an undisclosed location
in an unidentified gulf state.
Please advise immediately as payment will be required soon.
--
Sellam Ismail Vintage Computer