At least this post was somewhat entertaining to read...
On Monday 01 September 2008, Ray Arachelian wrote:
You might as well have said:
And that, my liege, is how we know the earth to
be banana-shaped.
So that I might reply "This new learning amazes me, Sir Bedevere.
Explain again how sheep's bladders may be employed to prevent
earthquakes."
"Eh. You are indeed brave, Sir Knight, but the fight is mine."
"Quick, what... is the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow?"
"Exactly. So, logically... If... she... weighs... the same as a
duck,... she's made of wood. And therefore? A witch!"
"Eh. You are indeed brave, Sir Knight, but the fight is mine."
"Look, I'll have your leg. [chop] What are you going to do, bleed
on me?"
"The Black Knight always triumphs! Have at you! Come on, then." [2nd
leg chopped] "Oh? All right, we'll call it a draw."
"Oh. Oh, I see. Running away, eh?"
" We're Knights of the Round Table.
Our shows are formidable,
But many times we're given rhymes
That are quite unsingable.
We're opera mad in Camelot.
We sing from the diaphragm a lot."
" In war we're tough and able,
Quite indefatigable.
Between our quests we sequin vests and impersonate Clark Gable.
It's a busy life in Camelot."
" I have to push the pram a lot."
" Well, on second thought, let's not go to Camelot. It is a silly
place."
"Oh, no. Oh, no! Bad, bad Zoot!"
"Oh, wicked, bad, naughty Zoot! She has been setting alight to our
beacon, which, I have just remembered, is grail-shaped. It's not the
first time we've had this problem."
(
http://www.mwscomp.com/movies/grail/cut.au )
"Oh. Um, l-- look, i-- i-- if we built this large wooden badger--"
And the Lord spake, saying, 'First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin.
Then, shalt thou count to three. No more. No less. Three shalt be the
number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be
three. Four shalt thou not count, nor either count thou two,
excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once
the number three, being the third number, be reached, then, lobbest
thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being
naughty in My sight, shall snuff it.'
"Listen. Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis
for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a
mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony."
"You've got two empty halves of coconut and you're bangin' 'em
together."
"How you English say, 'I one more time, mac, unclog my nose in your
direction', sons of a window-dresser!"
Instead, "We shall say 'ni' again to you if you do not appease us...
We want... a shrubbery! One that looks nice. And not too
expensive. Now... go!"
...
"Oh, what sad times are these when passing ruffians can say 'ni' at
will to old ladies. There is a pestilence upon this land. Nothing is
sacred. Even those who arrange and design shrubberies are under
considerable economic stress at this period in history."
"Fetchez la vache!
And now, remain gone, illegitimate-faced bugger-folk! And, if you
think you got a nasty taunting this time, you ain't heard nothing
yet, dappy English k-nnniggets! Thpppt!"