Modern Tube computing

Want to know why your computer crashes all the time? Because the one you've got is not using clean electronics! That's right, digital computers made with Integrated Circuits (ICs) produce inferior calculations, leading to subtle shifts and fluctuations that can cause rounding errors and ultimately cause Windows(tm) to crash. Instead, buy our nifty ENIAC (Entirely New Incredibly Accurate Computer) 3000 Computer system! It's based on vacuum tube electronics. That's right, vacuum tubes! Audiophiles have known for years that tube-based audio gear produces a richer, more vibrant sound than that offered by digital audio electronics. That's because tubes prouce a more clean signal. And the same effect applies to computing. If you're using a digital computer made with ICs, their resolution is not fine enough to handle calculations to the precision that modern computing requires, thus causing regular computer crashes. In fact, over 80% of computer failures in the United States [1] are attributed by Complex Random Attenuation Problems. CRAP is the leading cause of computer problems, beating out software bugs and even shoddy programming. Our all new, state-of-the-art ENIAC 3000 uses cleaner, more precise, vacuum tube logic elements that makes our computer hum. It's like music (coming from a tube-based amplifier) to your ears! Beat the CRAP out of your computer and upgrade to an ENIAC 3000 today! [1] Statistics from the Bureau of Universal Numerics & Computing (BUNC) (Ad paid for by Microsoft) -- Sellam Ismail Vintage Computer Festival

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