25 Jul
2001
25 Jul
'01
10:02 a.m.
THERMODYNAMICS OF HELL --A little "levity" for today.
The following is an actual exam question given on a University of
Washington chemistry mid term. The answer by one student was so "profound"
that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is,
of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.
Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic
(absorbs heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law,
(gas cools off when it expands and heats up when it is compressed) or some
variant. One student, however, wrote the following "First, we need to
know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate
that souls are moving into Hell and the rate they are leaving. I think
that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave.
Therefore; no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell,
lets look at the different religions that exist in the world today.
Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of their
religion, you will go to Hell. Since there are more than one of these
religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can
project that most souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they
are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.
Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's
Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay
the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are
added.
This gives two possibilities
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls
enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until
all Hell breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls
in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman
year, "...that it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you.",
and take into account the fact that I still have not succeeded in having
that event take place, then, #2 cannot be true, and thus I am sure that
Hell is exothermic and will not freeze."
**The student received the only "A" given.**