Customs Tricks (was: Re: Whoohoo! Fortune Telling...

-----Original Message----- From: Roger Merchberger <zmerch(a)30below.comTo: Discussion re-collecting of classic computers <classiccmp(a)u.washington.eduDate: Saturday, November 13, 1999 8:49 PM Subject: Re: Customs Tricks (was: Re: Whoohoo! Fortune Telling... shops! OLC has an office up there. To be fair to the province they have their quarterly meetings in each "quadrant" of Ontario.. He complains about the Sault.. >>You got it! Yes sir, no sir, can I wipe your.... >:-) Ain't that the truth! :-) >>In Canada they move the agents A LOT! They make sure you won't get someone >>you know everytime... plus a lot of summer students. >Wow... must be that small-town stuff again. Most all agents even on the >Canadian side here are over 30, so either they're *really* old students or >they don't have access to many students up here. On the US side here, >someone has to die if you want a job at Customs, so I'm somewhat chummy >with most of the officers here. [[And that's the "important" side for me... >Canada's usually quite easy: "Citizenship?" US. (sometimes with a thumb >pointed south... ;-) "Why're ya coming to Canada?" Shop. "How long you >gonna be here?" Couplhours. "Bringing anything?" Nah. "Go ahead."]] HAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAH... Verbatim... Our line is always: Where are you going? Factory outlet malls on Military Road. (A lot more believable if my wife is in the car ;-) ) >Oh, and don't think the fact your car/truck is nice and shiny and clean and >tuned will that keep you from getting stopped. Luck has everything to do >with it, and if the officer you pull up to got lucky the night before, it's >a breeze. If not... :-( Agreed. >I went to Canada once, wearing greasy sweats, hadn't shaved for a week and >wore a baseball cap that said "Candy is dandy but sex won't rot your teeth" >;-), truck barely ran, needed brakes & squealed badly whenever you appled >them, muddy as hell, was an *absolute* mess (including 2 US military >uniforms crumpled on the passanger side), the bed of the truck was full of >trash, most of which was vegetative (which is a *big* no-no when crossing >the border) and the guard asked my citizenship, looked at me funny and >waved me thru. >The next week: fixed, tuned & washed the truck, cleaned, vacuumed and >dusted the interior, cleaned out the bed fully, was dressed in a white >shirt and tie, fresh haircut... and Bam! The only time I've been pulled >over at Canadian Customs. The truck got tagged, they pulled me into the >shack, and I got grilled for 20 minutes about everything from what I had >for breakfast to the color of my underwear. And... interrogations from >border guards are akin to the CIA... They don't *ask* questions. I have seen it happen many times. More often I watch people get busted for hiding booze in the spare tire. Funniest one was once I saw this car speed through.. sirens went off, and the trunk popped open.. A bunch of Immigrants went running in every direction. ;-) It works both ways.. You get tossed if you don't have enough or you get beaten with drug charges if you have more than $10K. packing.) >"Thank you. Please replace all of your personal items and be on your way." >I stepped outside and everything but the steering wheel & seat were removed >from my truck... including the contents of the glove compartment & other >places of "personal" storage. >[[Editor's note - I'm not just picking on Canadian Customs - Years ago >(when I was an infant, so that's ~30 years ago) my parents were coming back >into the US when US customs stopped them, tore the car apart *including the >seats*. When they were all done, they said "You can go. You have 15 minutes >to be out of the building." *thankfully* my dad is one hell of a mechanic >and had a full toolset with him and could reinstall the seats in a few >minutes - despite the fact the tools were spread in a 10 foot radius around >the car. No joke.]] >Customs can be your friend, or they can be the most sadistic bastards >you've ever known. Be nice to them even if they're assholes - or you'll >regret it if you do any border crossing at all. Sadistic?? HAM RADIO GUYS CAN BE SADISTIC. I use to go to hamfests to pick up pdp 11 stuff. One year there was a show in Buffalo (convention center I think).. A Ham Radio guy I knew was still pissed off with the stuff I got from the last Ham Fest (he missed it as I got there early)... so what did he do???? He called the US Customs office. Gave them MY plate, car, and where I was going... He told them I was smuggling RAM chips in the car. (remember when a meg of Dynamic Ram was $1000?). Well, when I pulled up I heard 3 buzzers go off. They customs guy asked me who I was.. took my license and *told* me to pull over. They pulled apart the car. After finding nothing they told me they were looking for smuggled RAM chips... I thought about it and figured it out with them... When I got to the Ham Fest BEN HENDRICKS (the soon to be beaten HAM guy) asked me how my trip was? and smirked.... I got even with him in a *DEC* kind of way.... (but that's another message). WARNING THOUGH - SIGNIFICANT DEC HARDWARE WAS DAMAGED *BY* HIM IN THE PROCESS. He *really* should have checked the disk media before inserting.... wish >>I had a Picasso in the car that day :-( >You can *afford* a Picasso? You must have one hell of a computer collection!!! Not quite.... but I do have an *okay* group right now, and go through MANY old minis (pre- 1972)... I don't really collect though (I am not a pack rat)... I restore systems for *deep pocket* collectors on the side (beginning to be full time) for $$$$. I only keep a few minis that I enjoy playing with... John http://www.pdp8.com/ (to see the newest acquisitions - last month to present). >Take care, >Roger "Merch" Merchberger >-- >Roger "Merch" Merchberger --- sysadmin, Iceberg Computers >Recycling is good, right??? Ok, so I'll recycle an old .sig. >If at first you don't succeed, nuclear warhead >disarmament should *not* be your first career choice.