Using an IPad to load software onto an Apple IIe

D'ya really want to get written up in WIRED? With dayglo green text on a dayglo yellow background? (or have they learned anything?) Take an APPLE (MUST be APPLE), install an IPad in the case to do nothing but interface a USB keyboard to it. Install another iPad in the case, to do nothing but interface to a modern TV set. Install another iPad in the case, to do nothing but emulate a disk drive. Install another iPad in the case, to do nothing but emulate a game paddle. Show a Wired Apple fan-boy an entire room full of current Apple technology, being used to do nothing but act as an I/O processor for an early WELL KNOWN (therefore not first) Apple product. If that isn't enough, port OS/2 to it, written in Valtrep, and write an email protocol. (Sorry, Dan, I couldn't resist)