30 Jan
2002
30 Jan
'02
4:27 a.m.
No, it's for the holes...
On Jan 30, 9:42, Ben Franchuk wrote:
Nope you have it all WRONG, it is the Bit Bucket
option
for all the loose 0's and 1's found when a program crashes.
They can be rather hard on the carpet, generate static electricty
and slow programs down to a crawl.
Paraphrasing slightly from Matthew Skala on alt.folklore.computers:
All perfectly correct, except you forgot to mention:
In modern implementations, data sent to the bit bucket are destroyed by
combining the binary 1s and 0s in the Neuman reaction [1],
(eqn. 1) 1#0 -> 2p
where # is the logical annihilation operator, and p is Plonk's Constant,
0.172 J [2]. The resulting heat is fed back to the power supply and
used to replace the voltages of the destroyed bits.
Unfortunately, this reaction requires equal amounts of 1 and 0 bits.
Modern PCs, especially those used in desktop publishing by unskilled
personnel, often generate an excess of 0 bits corresponding, for
example, to whitespace in printed documents. These unwanted zeros can
accumulate into plaques on the system bus, causing a reduction in bus
rate and eventual total catastrophic system seizure [3].
Current techniques involve breaking the zero and unrolling it into a
one. See Figure 1, below.
|
_ __ \ |
/ \ \ \ |
| | ---> | ---> | ---> |
\_/ __/ / |
/ |
|
Figure 1.
Unrolling a zero.
(15000x electron micrographs courtesy Pugwash
Memorial Hospital Research Department)
This 1 can be annihilated with another extra 0 by equation 1, leaving to
be disposed only the hole from the middle of the unrolled 0. Holes are
accumulated in a special Hole Accumulation Hemisphere (HAH) at the
bottom of the power supply filter capacitors, until they can be removed
by a qualified service technician. Used holes are currently being
re-refined, cast in larger units, and sold to the doughnut industry [4].
It is important that beginning users not attempt to empty their own
HAHs. The accumulated holes, in addition to being invisible, are an
environmental hazard and should not be placed in the normal office waste
stream. There have been cases of holes getting into important documents
[5], or merging to form chunks large enough for personnel to fall in [6].
Uncontrolled holes are a very real danger and must be taken seriously,
especially in critical government and medical applications [7].
References
[1] Neuman, A.E. Safe, secure destruction of data. Journal of Data
Erasure Technologies. 5:17, 23-69.
[2] Plonk, Anvilsko. Heat value of data: a retrospective. Home Heating
News. 65, 19.
[3] Kevorkian, J. Case studies in busclerotic CPU arrest. Journal of
Systems Rescusitation. 2:12, 143-145.
[4] Dibbler, C.M.O.T. An alternative to traditional hole suppliers.
Baking Quarterly. 1996:3, 7-17.
[5] Kaputnik, H. I ha no l ers nd must sc . Writer's Weekly.
28:42, 94-98.
[6] Eating Corporation of America. Unpublished memo, subject: "Where
the f--- is Waldo?"
[7] Rubble, B. The 18 1/2 minute gap: Another view.
--
Pete Peter Turnbull
Network Manager
University of York