8 Apr
2000
8 Apr
'00
10:17 p.m.
With all the discussion about language, I though you might find this
interesting, off-topic though it may be. When reading this, keep in mind
that the German language has recently been re-engineered for reduced
redundancy and easier spelling.
Dick
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The European Union commissioners have announced that agreement has
been reached to adopt English as the preferred language for European
communications, rather than German, which was the other possibility.
As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded that
English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a
five-year phased plan for what will be known as EuroEnglish (Euro for
short).
In the first year, 's' will be used instead of the soft 'c'.
Sertainly, sivil servants will resieve this news with joy. Also, the
hard 'c' will be replaced with 'k.' Not only will this klear up
konfusion, but typewriters kan have one less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the
troublesome 'ph' will be replaced by 'f'. This will make words
like 'fotograf' 20 per sent shorter.
In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be
expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are
possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters,
which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil
agre that the horible mes of silent 'e's in the languag is
disgrasful, and they would go.
By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as
replasing 'th' by 'z' and 'w' by 'v'.
During ze fifz year, ze unesesary 'o' kan be dropd from vords
kontaining 'ou', and similar changes vud of kors; be aplid to ozer
kombinations of leters.
After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil b
no mor trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand
ech ozer. Ze drem vil finali kum tru.
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