On Sat, 24 Jan 1998, Wirehead Prime wrote:
When I was in the 9th grade...hmmm...that was like 14
years ago...eek...
I think my goal in life wasn't so much to do drugs and have a social
life. It was simply to have sex.
That was the goal of the druggies as well. :) Also the goal of
those like myself, druggie computer geeks. ;) When I was 14, I was a
junior in high school. Too young physically to befriend many of my
classmates who were one or two years older than myself, and too old
mentally to tolerate the kids my own age in junior high. :-/ Needless to
say I didn't have much luck in the sex department.
Considering that a fair percentage of my friends ended
up having unwanted
pregnancies and now live miserable lives doing miserable little menial
jobs (mind you, I respect someone who does a menial job well and works
hard more than someone who glides through life without ever earning
anything for themselves), I think I was probably better off in the basement.
What I did was hang in the basement until I got a car, then I
spent all my time working and hanging with my friends. I got the best of
both worlds, and wouldn't do it any differently if I could go around once
more and do it all again. However, even tho I know now that I could have
had the best girls if I were x-ian and preppie, I would be the same old
pot smoking longhair nerd that I was, reading 15# textbooks on physics.
In order to have the "good life" I would have had to sell out on all of my
beliefs, and I'm proud of _myself_ for sticking to who and what I am.
I'd rather have it the way things are...having a
choice when to have
children, get married etc etc etc. And the "cool" people at my high
school ended up being losers while the "uncool" people ended up having
productive jobs and quality lives. What makes you cool in high school
makes you someone nobody wants to be around when you become an adult.
What about the cool people who were also computer geeks? I wasn't
alone, there were lots of shy, quiet, chess playing pot smokers back then!
Getting back to computers...computers aren't
mind-numbing. They're
creative. You can create art, mathematics, music, literature, new ideas
in general, financial success and change the world with computers. What
can you do with drugs? You can pretty much be someone nobody REALLY
likes. Sure you'll be "popular" but only because others want to leech
free drugs off you. They're total fair-weather friends and will screw
you over the first chance they get.
This is true, drug friends are not TRUE friends. However, I
always knew the difference. So do most druggies, really.
I was never into drugs but all the friends I had who
did drugs drifted off
into their little meaningless lives somewhere while the friends I made
because of computers are still around...they help me move big computers
and furniture, we go to hamfests together and we buy each other pizzas
and beers all the time.
I'm a druggie (still, kinda got back into it again somewhat) so
what does that make me? True I have a meaningless life, but don't all
atheists? I mean, to realize you are a fluke, and have no right to be
alive, that you parasitically suck off the rest of the life of the planet,
and that you produce air and water pollution, these things make one feel
kinda low, you know? X-ians don't have that worry, "god made 'em",
thus
they have meaning, purpose (albeit illusionary), and a reason to get up in
the morning. I can see the advantage for religion, psychologically that is.
As for my wife, she's beautiful and would never
have married me if I'd
been into drugs. She married me because I'm sweet, stable and
loving...which is something you don't become by using drugs. Granted,
there are alot of "computer divorces" but I've cultivated a sense of
priorities that prevents that.
Yes, she is beautiful, and sweet, and no I'm not going to try to
steal her, because if I could, I wouldn't want her, you know? I doubt I
could, so don't fear. You are a very lucky man Tony, KNOW THAT! You're
also right about druggie girls, they are sluts, but that's all I have the
choice of it seems anymore. :( Cathy said the other day that she wants
to marry me after she sleeps with all the rest of the guys she wants to
have a fling with. Once that's out of her system, she wants to settle
down with me. She thinks it's a "done deal". :-/ I haven't had the
heart to tell her she's wrong, that I'd never marry a girl like her.
As for computer collecting...man...it's a cheap,
harmless hobby that
gives you an appreciation for history, a wider world-view of how markets
and business function and a sense of thriftiness that will serve you
always. Drugs make you act like an idiot. They make you narrow-minded,
rude, obnoxious, smelly and unintelligent.
Can I quote you on that? BTW, is that how you feel about me,
narrow minded, rude, obnoxious, smelly, unintelligent? I use drugs for
enlightenment and to give consciousness a bit of variety. You know what I
see, someone who's never tried drugs so they don't know what "mind
expanding" means. :) If you really are the creative, intelligent and
curious person that I have known you to be, then the first time you drop
acid, you'd see what I mean, and you'd want to explore this new REALITY.
The first time I took drugs, it was heroin, given to me by my best
friend's brother, just back from Vietnam with the addiction. I was 10
years old. I asked him "what does it feel like" because I noticed
(observation) that he went from looking angry and pissy to very happy, and
peaceful, thus I asked him what it felt like. He showed me. I am still
grateful, even tho the PRICE OF DRUGS and the POLICE OPINION ON DRUGS did
ruin my life. Not the use, the price, and with the loss of my high pay
job, ability to afford them, and when caught, the punishment of the cops.
Anyway, I'm going to get back on topic now...I
said my peace about
computers and drugs.
I myself am a tweak freak and a tripper. I bet you'd be too, were
you to sample every drug out there, you'd probably settle on stimulants
and hallucinogens like I have. Stimulants so you can keep going, without
need of sleep for those non-stop projects and hallucinogens to become that
little kid again, and to explore everything anew.
Once on alt.drugs I posted that hallucinogens (LSD, psilocybin,
etc.) make me feel like a little kid, the whole world is new, fresh,
exciting, and needing to be explored. I'd stop and pick up leaves and
explore them, play with ants, even dust bunnies are interesting. :) I
can play with toys again when I'm tripping, and in short, to me, when I
trip, I become that little kid again, that I always want to be.
Hallucinogens seem to make us into little kids again, full of hope,
dreams, and without prejudice, full of the ability to see things in a new
perspective, a KIDS perspective, but with an adult mind. :)
And when I said this on the group, I opened the eyes of every
tripper, as they all said "yes, you're right, that's exactly it". :)
sq
--
-<squest(a)cris.com>---------\ ( ( | ) ) Amendment1 Congress shall make
============================> /_\ no law abridging the freedom
MicroPower FM Broadcasting-/ /\_/\ of speech, or of the press.