OT Humor: Heaven vs. Hell

Story revised by Paul Braun, based upon suggestions from Eric Schranz: The time had come for Bill Gates to finally leave for that great software factory in the sky. Upon arriving at the Pearly Gates (no relation, but he did try to buy them once), he was faced with a choice. He could either go to Heaven or to Hell. God said, "I'm willing to let you visit both places briefly if it will help you make a decision." " Fine, but where should I go first?" God said, "I'm going to leave that up to you." Bill said, "Ok then, let's try Hell first." So Bill went to Hell. It was a beautiful clean sandy beach with clear waters. There were thousands of beautiful women running around playing in the water, laughing and frolicking about. The sun was shining and the temperature was perfect. Bill was very pleased. "This is great!" he told God. "If this is Hell, I really want to see Heaven!" "Fine," said God and off they went. Heaven was a high place in the clouds, with angels drifting about playing harps and singing. It was nice but not as enticing as Hell. Bill thought for a quick minute and rendered his decision. "Hmm, I think I prefer Hell." he told God. "Fine", retorted God, "as you desire." So Bill Gates went to Hell. Two weeks later, God decided to check up on the late billionaire to see how he was doing in Hell. When God arrived in Hell, he found Bill shackled to a wall, screaming amongst the hot flames in a dark cave. He was being burned and tortured by demons. "How's everything going, Bill?" God asked. Bill responded, his voice full of anguish and disappointment, "This is awful! This is not what I expected. What happened to that other place with the beaches and the beautiful women playing in the water?" God said to Bill, "That was just the pre-release demo." "What do you mean?" cried Bill. "This place is nothing at all like that! I was promised fun and frolicking and a trouble-free afterlife! This is excruciatingly painful and miserable and I can't get anyone to tell me why!" And God said, "Duh! You, of all people. What part of that don't you understand? The version you saw is supposed to be bundled with HellNT, but that's been delayed, pending a very large snowstorm." Paul Braun NerdWare -- The History of the PC and the Nerds who brought it to you. nerdware(a)laidbak.com www.laidbak.com/nerdware