The DosFish (object oriented GUIS)

[Curious Marc]

That’s a great one! Best summary of this thread so far. Thanks for sharing.
Marc

> On Oct 28, 2018, at 10:36 AM, Jeffrey S. Worley via cctalk <cctalk at classiccmp.org> wrote:
> 
> This was circulating in 1995/6.  IBM had been shipping the very good
> OS/2 for some years and Microsoft was trying to catch up.  Someone did
> a very nice parody.
> 
> Jeff
> 
> *****The Legend of the Pea Sea*****
> Long ago, in the days when all disks flopped in the breeze and the
> writing of words was on a star, the Blue Giant dug for the people the
> Pea Sea. But he needed a creature who could sail the waters, and would
> need for support but few rams.
> So the Gateskeeper, who was said to be both micro and soft, fashioned a
> Dosfish, who was small and spry, and could swim the narrow sixteen-bit
> channel. But the Dosfish was not bright, and could be taught few
> tricks. His alphabet had no A's, B's, or Q's, but a mere 640 K's, and
> the size of his file cabinet was limited by his own fat.
> At first the people loved the Dosfish, for he was the only one who
> could swim the Pea Sea. But the people soon grew tired of commanding
> his line, and complained that he could neither be dragged nor dropped.
> "Forsooth," they cried, "the Dosfish can only do one job at a time, and
> of names he knows only eight and three." And many of them left the Pea
> Sea for good, and went off in search of the Magic Apple.
> Although many went, far more stayed, because admittance to the Pea Sea
> was cheap. So the Gateskeeper studied the Magic Apple, and rested
> awhile in the Parc of the XerOx, and he made a Window that could ride
> on the Dosfish and do its thinking for it. But the Window was slow, and
> it would break when the Dosfish got confused. So most people contented
> themselves with the Dosfish.
> Now it came to pass that the Blue Giant came upon the Gateskeeper, and
> spoke thus: "Come, let us make of ourselves something greater than the
> Dosfish." The Blue Giant seemed like a humbug, so they called the new
> creature Oz II.
> Now Oz II was smarter than the Dosfish, as most things are. It could
> drag and drop, and could keep files without becoming fat. But the
> people cared for it not. So the Blue Giant and the Gateskeeper promised
> another Oz II, to be called Oz II Too, that could swim fast in the new,
> 32-bit wide Pea Sea.
> Then lo, a strange miracle occurred. Although the Window that rode on
> the Dosfish was slow, it was pretty, and the third Window was prettiest
> of all. And the people began to like the third Window, and to use it.
> So the Gateskeeper turned to the Blue Giant and said, "Fie on thee, for
> I need thee not. Keep thy Oz II Too, and I shall make of my Window an
> Entity that will not need the Dosfish, and will swim in the 32-bit Pea
> Sea."
> Years passed, and the workshops of the Gateskeeper and the Blue Giant
> were many times overrun by insects. And the people went on using their
> Dosfish with a Window; even though the Dosfish would from time to time
> become confused and die, it could always be revived with three fingers.
> Then there came a day when the Blue Giant let forth his Oz II Too onto
> the world. The Oz II Too was indeed mighty, and awesome, and required a
> great ram, and the world was changed not a whit. For the people said,
> "It is indeed great, but we see little application for it." And they
> were doubtful, because the Blue Giant had met with the Magic Apple, and
> together they were fashioning a Taligent, and the Taligent was made of
> objects, and was most pink.
> Now the Gateskeeper had grown ambitious, and as he had been ambitious
> before he grew, he was now more ambitious still. So he protected his
> Window Entity with great security, and made its net work both in
> serving and with peers. And the Entity would swim, not only in the Pea
> Sea, but in the Oceans of Great Risk. "Yea," the Gateskeeper declared,
> "though my entity will require a greater ram than Oz II Too, it will be
> more powerful than a world of Eunuchs."
> And so the Gateskeeper prepared to unleash his Entity to the world, in
> all but two cities. For he promised that a greater Window, a greater
> Entity, and even a greater Dosfish would appear one day in Chicago and
> Cairo, and it too would be built of objects.
> Now the Eunuchs who lived in the Oceans of Great Risk, and who scorned
> the Pea Sea, began to look upon their world with fear. For the Pea Sea
> had grown and great ships were sailing in it, the Entity was about to
> invade their Oceans, and it was rumored that files would be named in
> letters greater than eight. And the Eunuchs looked upon the Pea Sea,
> and many of them thought to immigrate.
> Within the Oceans of Great Risk were many Sun Worshippers, and they had
> wanted to excel, and make their words perfect, and do their jobs as
> easy as one-two-three. And what's more, many of them no longer wanted
> to pay for the Risk. So the Sun Lord went to the Pea Sea, and got
> himself eighty-sixed.
> And taking the next step was He of the NextStep, who had given up
> building his boxes of black. And he proclaimed loudly that he could
> help anyone make wondrous soft wares, then admitted meekly that only
> those who know him could use those wares, and he was made of objects,
> and required the biggest ram of all.
> And the people looked out upon the Pea Sea, and they were sore amazed.
> And sore confused. And sore sore. And that is why, to this day, Ozes,
> Entities, and Eunuchs battle on the shores of the Pea Sea, but the
> people still travel on the simple Dosfish.
> 
>